Introduction
If you choose to look the other way because of disgust, denial or paralyzing fear - that's okay. This is what a victim does to survive. Eventually for many people there comes a time when denial, repression and fear shut down life or at least your ability to enjoy it. And the desolate box that kept you safe for maybe decades or most of your life now is suffocating. This is exactly what happened to me.
My world had become so small, so dark and so lonely. In order to escape my self-imposed hell I entered rehab for bulimia. People have mixed ideas about rehab. What is it? Why would someone go there? What do you do when you get out? For me it was validation that I wasn't crazy. And that it was time to get support. It was also a time to share my inner most feelings and to release decades of fear and repressed feelings.
I discovered during my treatment at the Avalon Eating Disorder Clinic in Williamsville, NY that in order to escape my own personal hell and the darkness that came with it - a candle and a match or even a flashlight was a good place to begin. Light will always lift the darkness. The hardest part is igniting the match or finding the switch to thru the light on. Doing this in a house or a car is easy. Making it happen inside a person is an entirely different thing.
When it comes to the psyche and individual experiences, the body is extremely smart. It keeps score. It hides things we cannot cope with through repression and often confusion. But remember, light trumps darkness. Love prevails over fear. The energy of being present and aware is what helped me the most. And I know it will help you too.
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